Fatpeopleshouldn’t

“Fat People Shouldn’t” #22

What up, amigos?  Glad to see you back again today, and hopefully you’ll get a laugh at today’s “Fat People Shouldn’t”!

 

So, you ever had one of those days?  You know the type of days that I mean…you’re walking all day, and you’re so tired and worn out, and suddenly, like an oasis in the middle of the desert, there is a seat?  That’s what happened to this lady!  And you know why?  It’s because of those terrible shoes!  She really needs to go through her closet and get rid of those things.  I mean, really.  Really.

 

 

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #21

You guys know what time it is!!! “Fat People Shouldn’t” time!  Yep, and I’ve got a good one for you today!

 

Now, as a fat guy myself, I feel as though you should always be careful when going out without certain articles of clothing.  My skin doesn’t see the direct sunlight too often, and you gotta take care of that skin!  This guy…well, it’s obvious he doesn’t share my concern.  He’s out and about in his Friday night, club-hoppin’ best, and look at that tan skin!  Somebody get this guy some sunblock!  At least he’s got on some sunglasses though…gotta protect those eyes too!

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #20

Firstly, guys, it’s pretty hard to believe that I’ve been posting these things for 20 weeks.  That’s a long freakin’ time.  Anyways, yeah.  You ready for a new one?!  I know I am, so here it is!

 

Ever been driving down the road on your scooter, catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and think, “Good God!  Suspenders?!  What the hell was I thinking?!”  That is where this guy is right now.  On the bright side, they are a nice, tame black and match well with his outfit.  They could be zebra-striped.  Man…zebra-striped suspenders…gotta get me some of those!

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #19

Hey peeps!  Today is Friday, the end of a long week, and since yesterday’s post was serious, I decided to be a little more light-hearted today and post a new “Fat People Shouldn’t” for you, so sit back, enjoy, and have a great weekend!

 

You know, there is nothing better than dressing up and going out…hair, make-up, sexy, skin-bearing clothes…this lady has it all.  But man, did she mess up!  I mean, she’s got on the leopard-print cami with the black tights, but dear Lord!  Those shoes!  What the hell was she thinking?!  You don’t get all sexyfied and then throw on the wal-mart special shoes!  Come on, lady…eat your dinner, go home, and try again!

 

Well, that’s all for today, folks!  Have a good weekend, and I’ll see you Monday!

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #18

What up, muchachos?  Today, I have a wonderful new “Fat People Shouldn’t” for you guys, so here ya go!

Now, we all know that everyone should get exercise, right?  A little fresh air, some sunshine, it does wonders for a person!  And for kids, I mean, it’s even better!  It helps their little bones grow!  So, like this devoted mother, grab your kids, grab your bikes, and get your ass out there and get some exercise!  (and p.s.–don’t forget your kiddie gas masks!)

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #17

Hey guys!  So, it’s been about a bajillion years since I did a new “Fat People Shouldn’t” post, (well, actually, it’s been 24 days), so I figured that everyone’s eyes have healed enough since last time to enjoy another.  Am I right?  OF COURSE I’M RIGHT!  So here we go!

 

Now, you know that everyone likes to flaunt what they’ve got, right?  I know I do!  I mean, you’ve seen me in skin-tight camo spandex, and we all know that shit was hot.  So you know, when spring rolls into summer, it’s hot and we are all sweating, we all wanna get our sexy on with a pretty little two piece, showing off our sexy bod to all our friends.  This guy is no different!  But you know, if you’re gonna get drunk and slip into something a little sexy, you better make sure you’ve got a friend to keep an eye on those “nip slips”.  I know Tara Reid, Janet Jackson, and more recently, Nicki Minaj, have all let their junk hang out, but let’s face it, if we all start doing it, it won’t be so special when a celeb’s boob falls out on the red carpet.  So with that said, tuck that titty in, buddy!  Nice star, by the way, but if it’s a pastie, you put in the wrong place, but I guess that’s what being drunk does for you.  Call Lil Kim, she might be able to help you out!

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #16

Glad to see you guys have come back to join me today!  And do you know what today is?  It’s “Fat People Shouldn’t” day!!!! Come on, you know you’re excited!  So what fashion faux-pas do I have for you today?  Read on to find out!

 

Now, I think people should be able to wear pretty much whatever they want.  Okay, no I don’t.  But as long as you look relatively decent, I won’t spare a second glance at you.  The thing is, so so SO many people choose to walk out into the light of day wearing who knows what, and here is another example.  So you’re a farmer and you’re proud of it.  You also have plenty of confidence.  Fine.  But come on, let’s not go overboard here.  I know that back in the early 2000’s overalls came back into style for 2 or 3 seconds, but seriously, unless you’re Justin Timberlake circa 2001, let’s leave those suckers folded in the drawer and for God’s sake, let’s put on a shirt, shall we?

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #15

Hey guys!  So, there was no “Fat People Shouldn’t” last week, so for those of you wondering where it is, here ya go!

“Fat People Shouldn’t” #15

Fat people shouldn’t leave the house like this.  Yeah, you may be comfortable with your body, which is all well and good, and I applaud you for that, but really, to walk out of the house like that…I mean, I have a razor you guys can borrow.  We all know you should NOT be going out in public without a little man-scaping.  COME ON GUYS!  Nice bathing suits, by the way…can I get one in blue?

 

 

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“Fat People Problems” #57

Feel free to repost these anywhere, guys, but try to link them back to here if you can!

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #14

 

Hey guys!  Time for another wonderful edition of “Fat People Shouldn’t”  and you know what that means!  Time to get your laugh on!  Oh yeah!

 

“Fat People Shouldn’t” #14

 

This woman has so many things wrong with her, I hardly know where to start.  Firstly, fat people shouldn’t try to squeeze their 3x ass into their little girl’s extra-small pj’s.  I love me some Spongebob, but I don’t need to see him bulging in 3D from your fat rolls.  Secondly, if, for some reason your delusional mind decides that “Yep, I think I would look DAMN hot in that shit!”, and you DO squeeze your fat ass into those tiny pj’s, you definitely shouldn’t go out into public in them.  I mean, leave the psychological problems and temporary blindness to your kids…we all have enough problems these days.  And finally, if you INSIST on leaving the house in your 6 sizes-too-small pj’s, at least wear them with class and don’t be walking along like some half-dead zombie on the hunt for a juicy brain.  It’s a lot of things, but sexy aint one of ’em.  On the other hand though, she coordinated the shit out of that whole outfit and gets bonus points for that!

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