Posts Tagged With: clothes

“Fat People Shouldn’t” #22

What up, amigos?  Glad to see you back again today, and hopefully you’ll get a laugh at today’s “Fat People Shouldn’t”!

 

So, you ever had one of those days?  You know the type of days that I mean…you’re walking all day, and you’re so tired and worn out, and suddenly, like an oasis in the middle of the desert, there is a seat?  That’s what happened to this lady!  And you know why?  It’s because of those terrible shoes!  She really needs to go through her closet and get rid of those things.  I mean, really.  Really.

 

 

 

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“The Ripped Jeans Conundrum”

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #21

You guys know what time it is!!! “Fat People Shouldn’t” time!  Yep, and I’ve got a good one for you today!

 

Now, as a fat guy myself, I feel as though you should always be careful when going out without certain articles of clothing.  My skin doesn’t see the direct sunlight too often, and you gotta take care of that skin!  This guy…well, it’s obvious he doesn’t share my concern.  He’s out and about in his Friday night, club-hoppin’ best, and look at that tan skin!  Somebody get this guy some sunblock!  At least he’s got on some sunglasses though…gotta protect those eyes too!

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #20

Firstly, guys, it’s pretty hard to believe that I’ve been posting these things for 20 weeks.  That’s a long freakin’ time.  Anyways, yeah.  You ready for a new one?!  I know I am, so here it is!

 

Ever been driving down the road on your scooter, catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and think, “Good God!  Suspenders?!  What the hell was I thinking?!”  That is where this guy is right now.  On the bright side, they are a nice, tame black and match well with his outfit.  They could be zebra-striped.  Man…zebra-striped suspenders…gotta get me some of those!

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #19

Hey peeps!  Today is Friday, the end of a long week, and since yesterday’s post was serious, I decided to be a little more light-hearted today and post a new “Fat People Shouldn’t” for you, so sit back, enjoy, and have a great weekend!

 

You know, there is nothing better than dressing up and going out…hair, make-up, sexy, skin-bearing clothes…this lady has it all.  But man, did she mess up!  I mean, she’s got on the leopard-print cami with the black tights, but dear Lord!  Those shoes!  What the hell was she thinking?!  You don’t get all sexyfied and then throw on the wal-mart special shoes!  Come on, lady…eat your dinner, go home, and try again!

 

Well, that’s all for today, folks!  Have a good weekend, and I’ll see you Monday!

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“Fat People Problems” #86

Feel free to repost these anywhere, guys, but try to link them back to here if you can!

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“Adventures In Dieting: Ep. 4”

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #17

Hey guys!  So, it’s been about a bajillion years since I did a new “Fat People Shouldn’t” post, (well, actually, it’s been 24 days), so I figured that everyone’s eyes have healed enough since last time to enjoy another.  Am I right?  OF COURSE I’M RIGHT!  So here we go!

 

Now, you know that everyone likes to flaunt what they’ve got, right?  I know I do!  I mean, you’ve seen me in skin-tight camo spandex, and we all know that shit was hot.  So you know, when spring rolls into summer, it’s hot and we are all sweating, we all wanna get our sexy on with a pretty little two piece, showing off our sexy bod to all our friends.  This guy is no different!  But you know, if you’re gonna get drunk and slip into something a little sexy, you better make sure you’ve got a friend to keep an eye on those “nip slips”.  I know Tara Reid, Janet Jackson, and more recently, Nicki Minaj, have all let their junk hang out, but let’s face it, if we all start doing it, it won’t be so special when a celeb’s boob falls out on the red carpet.  So with that said, tuck that titty in, buddy!  Nice star, by the way, but if it’s a pastie, you put in the wrong place, but I guess that’s what being drunk does for you.  Call Lil Kim, she might be able to help you out!

 

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“Fat People Problems” #78

Feel free to repost these anywhere, guys, but try to link them back to here if you can!

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“Welcome To My Nightmare” #1

Hey guys!  So, today, I have something totally new and amazing for you.  Last night, I had a nightmare.  I woke up screaming, having witnessed a horror beyond comprehension.  Luckily, being the amazing artist that I am, I was able to recreate some of the more graphic scenes for you, so continue to scroll at your own risk, and don’t say I didn’t warn you!

WHAT IS GOING ON?!

First, I realized that I had on this awful shirt, some spandex/camo combination of death, so I tried to hide.  My first hiding spot didn’t work.

No one can see me!

So, then, I tried another.  It was working, until I realized that I had dropped some money.  So…

You totally can’t see me!

 

I’m just a bush…no one here…

I had to bend over and pick it up!  AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

You don’t mess with my money!

So then, after collecting my money, I started hugging up on this really cute tree…I don’t really know why…you know how dreams are…

I love trees!

And then…I BECAME A TREE!!!! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN FAT PEOPLE WEAR SKINTIGHT CAMO?!!! IT’S HORRIBLE!!!!! 😦 😦 😦

I’M A TREE!!!!!!

Okay, guys…so that was my nightmare.  Pretty scary huh?  So what lessons have we learned here today?  #1:  Nick has no shame.  #2:  You may want to stop reading this blog.  And finally, #3:  IF YOU ARE A FATASS, DON’T WEAR SKINTIGHT CAMO!!!!!!!

 

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