Posts Tagged With: new

“The Ripped Jeans Conundrum”

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Are you saggin’?

What up, peeps?  So, as some of you know, at the start of the new year, I went back on my diet.  And I’m doing it for real this time.  Been going to the gym, eating healthy, the works.  Let’s not call it a diet.  It’s my new way of life.  Anyways, I have some fears about losing a bunch of weight.  I have dreams of losing weight and looking something like Ryan Reynolds.  That would be nice wouldn’t it?  I mean, if I’m gonna do it, I might as well do it right, right?  So, for inspiration, I’ve been looking up pictures of what it looks like when people lose a lot of weight.  Just FYI–I’d like to lose around 200lbs…that’s about half of my body.  So, here’s what I’ve found:

What I look like now:



What I want to look like after I lose weight:



What I’m afraid I’ll look like after I lose weight:



What I’ll probably have to do if I look like that ^ after I lose weight:



Now, realistically, I don’t expect to ever look like Ryan Reynolds.  I mean, he trains in the gym for like, half of his life, and you know what Sweet Brown says…”Ain’t nobody got time for dat!”  Now, the picture of the guy with all the saggy skin is a little bit overkill for me.  That guy lost like, 500lbs, but still, saggy skin is a reality for me.  And I kinda feel like, which would I rather have?  Gross folds of saggy, baggy skin hanging from my arms, legs, stomach, and everywhere in between, or would I rather be a fatass forever?  I guess when it comes down to it, I would rather be healthy and saggy than to be a fatass who dies at 45, but really, I wish there were some other options.  But what about plastic surgery, you ask?  Yeah.  They do this thing called a corset trunkplasty, where they take you in across your belly and junk.  Estimated cost: $15,000.  End result:

Yeah…not much prettier than the saggy skin, is it?  This picture is a man who lost 300lbs, and this is 6 months after his surgery.  I’m just thinking, jeez…it kinda sucks either way.  Anyways, I guess becoming a bodybuilder is always an option.  I guess it’s not bad to be huge as long as your hugeness is caused my mounds of muscle and not folds of fat.  It might be nice to be able to lift a small plane with one hand, I guess.  I wouldn’t really have to worry about being mugged or anything anymore…So yeah, guess if all else fails, I’ll become a body builder!  Alright! Anyways, guess that’s it, even if I don’t have to worry about any of this for at least a year or more.  Leave it to me to always see the downside.  Whatevs.  See you guys tomorrow!

Categories: Dietupdate, Various | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Resolutions, anyone?

Hey guys!  Happy Monday to you all, as I’m sure you all woke up bright and cheery and looking forward to another LLLLLLOOOOONNNNNGGGGG week of work, right?  I know I did! Anyways, as today is January 7th, I wanted to ask you guys, how are the resolutions going?  We have now been into the year 2013 for a full week, and I’m sure that most of you who got that 1-year gym membership on January 1st have already found some excuse as to why you couldn’t go and rolled over and slept an extra hour at least three times already.  Am I right?  Of course I am!  Anyways, I just wanted to share with you guys about my resolution, and let you know how I’m doing.

So yeah, I’m gonna give you three guesses as to what my resolution was, and the first two guesses don’t count.  You got it?  Yep…I want to lose weight in the new year.  But you know what?  It’s much more than that for me.  This year, I’m turning 29, which sadly (and obviously), is the last year of my twenties.  If, at any time in the world I could finally consider myself an true adult, it is at the end of my twenties.  I mean, at this point, I’m expected to have a career, a house, kids, a dog, cat, hamster, and fish, a white picket fence, and some annoying neighbors who are too nosy for their own good.  Well, I have a good job (doesn’t pay great, but I absolutely love it, anyways), I do own a house (even though I don’t live in it), and as for the rest, well, they haven’t happened yet.  But, the thing is, I want them.  Well, at least the kids…we can leave off the rest and I’d be ok with that.  But you know, even if I had kids right now, I can imagine it would be pretty miserable.  I mean, for a guy of my size, I feel like I’m pretty fit.  I mean, I got out and walked 2 miles the other day.  Do you see a lot of 400lb + men out there doing that?  I know I don’t.  But you know, that doesn’t mean that it’s okay.  I was trying to fit into a shirt the other day and realized something as I looked in the mirror.  Firstly, I looked like a balloon.  Secondly, I realized how much weight I’ve gained recently.  And, I mean, I’ve been stressed out lately, and then you know, it was the holidays, but still…Looking in the mirror, I realized that my man-boobs now rival Dolly Parton’s, my stomach is roughly the size of the Good Year blimp, and my thighs could be mistaken for those of a t-rex if only they weren’t as white as Casper the Ghost.  So if I did have kids, A) I would be constantly out of breath, and B) I would stand a pretty good chance of rolling over and killing them as we played.  But, seriously…I don’t want to go through life having my kids judged because of what I am.  I mean, I don’t wanna be the fat dad raising fat kids who everyone hates and blames for high taxes and health insurance.  Just take this article, for instance:  (

Firstly, you can see an obvious issue.  It’s an article about obesity covered in McDonalds ads.  Yeah.  Second, see that picture on the side?

The one with the two overweight ladies talking to each other?  I really hate pictures like that, not because I hate fat people (obviously), or that I find them disgusting, but because I find the practice of reducing these people down to nothing but their obesity is a horrible practice.  But, other people have different opinions, and I’ll share some of the comments with you:

Anonymous13 mins ago

It’s TIME to take this disgusting photo DOWN.  We’ve viewed it too many times, already.  We “get the picture”.  Food stamps…….lazy…..taxpayers’ burdens.

fuzzyface20 hrs ago

At least those big women in the pict. can give a lot of shade in the cruel hot sun.

Klyde1 hr 25 mins ago

ROFL , 2  black porkers arguing about where they are going to eat lunch at

Robert F2 hrs 6 mins ago

Many Americans have become so arrogant and stupid they think that being criticized for being a big fat slob is something they should rebel against and that the people criticizing them are in the wrong for pointing out their gluttony . The reality is they should be ashamed of themselves for allowing themselves to get so fat in the first place. They deserve to get laughed at and criticized for being so fat, lazy and such slobs

You can see that people don’t react too kindly to us fatasses.  I just don’t understand what it is in our nature that makes us want to lash out at others to make ourselves feel better.  How is someone being overweight affecting you in such a way that you need to feel such hate and anger towards them?  Is it because of the fact that they raise heathcare costs?  Well, so do all of the smokers who end up with COPD and emphysema, so do all of your 90 year old grannies who end up in the hospital with bronchitis because they insisted on walking around the block in the 27 degree cold, and so do all those stupid idiots who insist on texting and driving who wreck their cars and end up spending months in the hospital and in physical rehab.  Should we just tear those people down too and make them feel like they are lower than the lowest scum?  Robert F.’s comment here is probably my favorite, because he actually put some thought into it, as opposed to the other assholes who just decided to insult people to make them feel better about themselves.  These people just don’t understand that it’s not as easy as putting down the Big Mac and getting out and walking.  I started getting fat when I was six years old.  My mom took me to the doctor (who did absolutely nothing), and she never got fat, nor did my brother, so I’m assuming it wasn’t something she was doing.  But you know what?  Robert F. up there thinks that because my six year old self allowed me to get fat, that I deserve to be laughed at and criticized.  Because at six, I had to be a fat and lazy slob.  Yeah.  And because I’m a fat a lazy slob now.
Anyways, I want to lose weight because of that.  Because I’m NOT a fat, lazy slob.  I DON’T deserve to be laughed at and criticized and neither do my kids. I don’t want them to be embarrassed to introduce their dad to their friends because he is fat.  I do my part in life, I work just like everyone else, I pay my bills, my taxes inflated by healthcare costs, and yet I do not feel the need to laugh at fat people.  Well, not because they are fat anyways…I laugh at them for doing and wearing stupid things, but hey, I laugh at skinny people for that too, I just don’t post about it.  Maybe I should…who knows?  But whatever…I’m trying to change, and I’m trying hard.  I am trying to exercise more, even though it’s hard.  My wife and I are looking at joining a gym.  I’m trying to be more consious about what I eat, and how much I eat.  But it’s a hard road.  My body wants what it wants.  Have you guys ever seen Mad TV with the Stuart skits, played by Michael McDonald?  It’s like that….whenever Stuart gets chocolate, his mom tells him not to eat it and he shoves it in his mouth as quick as possible.  It’s funny, but it’s like what my body does.  I’m like, I want some chocolate, I think I’ll eat just one piece.  Then, before I can stop myself, I’ve eaten 10 and I’m filled with regret.  You may laugh, but really, it’s just like that.












But yeah, I guess I need to work on that.  Anyways, I guess that’s an update as to how my resolution is going, and a little background into why hopefully, this year will be different.  So with that, I will sign off for today, and I’ll see you guys tomorrow!



Categories: Bigpost, TOTD | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy New Year!

What up, peeps?  Hope today starts your year off right, and from right here at Fatass In A Skinny World, Happy New Year! (Now put down those cookies!  You know your resolution was to lose weight!)

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I’m Baaaaacckkkk!!!!!

Hey guys!  Been gone the last few days, thanks to the wonderful holiday season, and I hope you guys had a great Christmas, or Hannukah, or Festivus, or Kwanzaa, or whatever it is you celebrate.  I know I had a good one, though busy and exhausting, but it was good, nonetheless.

So, today I am gonna repost a quizzy/survey-type thing that I read on another blog that I follow (, if you must know!).  I thought it might be a good way for me to look back on the year and a way for some of you guys to get to know me a little better!  So here we go!


1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

I started this blog!  I had never really read blogs and definitely hadn’t written one before this, so that is one thing I had never done.  Not to mention the whole buying my own domain and setting up a website thing.  I never would have thought that would have happened!

2. Did you keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Uh, well, in general, my New Year’s Resolutions are usually to lose weight and junk, so yeah, I lost a little, gained a little, whatever.  I probably will make more for this year, and it’ll probably be the same one (to lose weight), but I’m gonna hope that this year, I actually stick with it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My cousin Ashley had a daughter, Amiya.  Other than that, no one that was really to me did.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.  Luckily, I have never lost a loved one that I can actually remember or was close to, so this year, I was lucky again.  Hopefully, next year will remain death-free also!

5. What countries did you visit?

Countries?!  Seriously?  Uh, the United States of Bankrupt.  Does that count?
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

More self-control, over my attitude, my budget, myself.  And money, definitely more money!

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Probably just November 26th.  It was the date of my first real car accident, and although I wasn’t seriously injured, I will probably never forget it.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I’m gonna say that it was gaining self-confidence.  I think that doing this blog has really helped me come out a little, to become more comfortable with myself.  I mean, I’ve put a lot of personal thoughts and feelings out there for you guys, and it has dramatically increased my confidence.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Well, I would like to think that I didn’t really fail at anything this year, that I just didn’t do it perfectly and that I’ve given myself a chance to do it again this year, better.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing serious.  I had a cystoscopy, which felt serious, and the car accident, which also felt serious, but really, neither of them really was.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My web domain,!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My wife.  She has really become more comfortable with herself as well this year, has become a leader at work, and I am so proud of her.  I couldn’t ask for a better woman to spend my life with!


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Appalled and depressed?  Uh, I don’t really know.  I’ve been slightly depressed with the state of our nation, and the recent spate of shootings has been pretty appalling, so I guess that is my answer.


14. Where did most of your money go?

The majority of the money that did not pay bills went the Real Hacienda Mexican restaurant in Owensboro, KY.  I could literally live on their fajitas jalisco and queso.


15. What did you get really, really excited about?

Hmmm…well, I got really excited about buying a new car this summer.  Got excited about starting this blog.  Got excited about getting a couple of raises at work.  Overall, it’s been a pretty good year for me.


16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Hmmm…I will probably always think of this year whenever I hear “We Are Young” by fun., as well as “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye.


17. Compared to this time last year, are you (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter, and (c) richer or poorer?

Well, I don’t think I’m sadder.  A little more stressed about things, but not sadder.  I am definitely fatter.  I went on a diet last year right before Christmas and lost a bunch of weight, and as I’ve gained most of it back (which usually happens), yeah, fatter.  No doubt.  And probably poorer, or at least deeper in debt.


18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I could have traveled more this year.  Normally, my wife and I take a trip for our anniversary in the 3rd week of October, but due to my cystoscopy this year, we didn’t get to do it and our vacation was pretty much shot.  An actual vacation would have been nice.


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I don’t really know.  Spend money?  I wish we had been able to save more and spend less, but you know, it is what it is.


20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I will spend one day with my family, one day with my wife’s extended family, and one day with my wife’s close family.  It’s a busy time, lots of travelling, but it’s nice to see everyone.


21. What was your favorite TV program?

Hmmm…well, I discovered “Big Bang Theory” this year and it was definitely my favorite, but I have also enjoyed watching “Glee” and “Mike and Molly”.


22. What was the best book you read?

Gosh, I don’t even know…I read A LOT during a year…I couldn’t even name half of the books I’ve read.  If I had to think of one I’ve read that I really enjoyed, it would have to be the Hunger Games series.  I really enjoyed reading these and thought the movie was pretty good too.


23. What was your favorite music from this year?

As mentioned above, I really like fun. and Gotye.  I am really glad that I discovered them this year.


24. What did you want and get?

The biggest thing?  I wanted a new car, and I got one.  Well, actually I got two.  So yeah.


25. What did you want and not get?

I wanted to win one of the giant lotteries, and I didn’t even get a buck.  L


26. What was your favorite film this year?

Holy crap, that’s a hard one to answer.  There are so many movies I watched this year, and so many I liked.  The one I can think of right off…Pitch Perfect.  It’s not the best movie out there, but man, I love me some Rebel Wilson, and she was awesome in this movie.  There were probably some I liked better or at least the same, but I can’t think of them right now.


27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Well, firstly, I was 28.  I didn’t really do much.  My mom and brother came into town to visit, but other than that, it was probably a pretty regular day.

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Ummm…well, it would have been nice to not have had so much stress, but most of the stressful situations this year have been learning situations, so I guess in the end, I’ll come out better.


29. How would you describe your personal style concept in 2012?

What?  I’m not sure what this means.  Is it clothing style?  If so, it was pretty much the same as always.  I like to be comfy, so my clothes reflect that.


30. What kept you sane?

Coming home and chilling with my wife after work, maybe going to get dinner, watching tv/movies, crafting, blogging.


31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Spongebob Squarepants…I definitely fancied him the most 😉


32. Which political issue stirred you the most?

Well, this was a voting year, so voting, I guess.  I’m also pretty sure that our economy is about to go down the drain, so that’s pretty stirring too.


33. Who did you miss?

I missed my family and wish I could have seen them more, but as we live 3 hours away, getting to see them as much as I can makes me happy.


34. Who was the best new person you met?

I met a guy named Brandon this year who has quickly become one of my best friends.  I’m really glad for that.


35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

Be comfortable with who you are now, even if you want to change.  If people won’t accept you for who you are, you don’t need them.


36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“I’m sexy and I know it!” –LMFAO

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