Posts Tagged With: shouldn’t

“Fat People Shouldn’t” #22

What up, amigos?  Glad to see you back again today, and hopefully you’ll get a laugh at today’s “Fat People Shouldn’t”!

 

So, you ever had one of those days?  You know the type of days that I mean…you’re walking all day, and you’re so tired and worn out, and suddenly, like an oasis in the middle of the desert, there is a seat?  That’s what happened to this lady!  And you know why?  It’s because of those terrible shoes!  She really needs to go through her closet and get rid of those things.  I mean, really.  Really.

 

 

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #21

You guys know what time it is!!! “Fat People Shouldn’t” time!  Yep, and I’ve got a good one for you today!

 

Now, as a fat guy myself, I feel as though you should always be careful when going out without certain articles of clothing.  My skin doesn’t see the direct sunlight too often, and you gotta take care of that skin!  This guy…well, it’s obvious he doesn’t share my concern.  He’s out and about in his Friday night, club-hoppin’ best, and look at that tan skin!  Somebody get this guy some sunblock!  At least he’s got on some sunglasses though…gotta protect those eyes too!

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #20

Firstly, guys, it’s pretty hard to believe that I’ve been posting these things for 20 weeks.  That’s a long freakin’ time.  Anyways, yeah.  You ready for a new one?!  I know I am, so here it is!

 

Ever been driving down the road on your scooter, catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and think, “Good God!  Suspenders?!  What the hell was I thinking?!”  That is where this guy is right now.  On the bright side, they are a nice, tame black and match well with his outfit.  They could be zebra-striped.  Man…zebra-striped suspenders…gotta get me some of those!

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #19

Hey peeps!  Today is Friday, the end of a long week, and since yesterday’s post was serious, I decided to be a little more light-hearted today and post a new “Fat People Shouldn’t” for you, so sit back, enjoy, and have a great weekend!

 

You know, there is nothing better than dressing up and going out…hair, make-up, sexy, skin-bearing clothes…this lady has it all.  But man, did she mess up!  I mean, she’s got on the leopard-print cami with the black tights, but dear Lord!  Those shoes!  What the hell was she thinking?!  You don’t get all sexyfied and then throw on the wal-mart special shoes!  Come on, lady…eat your dinner, go home, and try again!

 

Well, that’s all for today, folks!  Have a good weekend, and I’ll see you Monday!

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Enough is enough!

Hey guys.  Today’s post is gonna be kinda serious, so I decided to go ahead and warn you now in case you came here looking for something funny.   So, I was trolling Tumblr this morning, looking for something funny to write about, and I have to say, it is pretty depressing.  I searched the keywords “fat” and “problems”, hoping to find some funny pictures of fat animals, or funny things that people have written (similar to my Fat People Problems, maybe?), or possibly just some pictures of Rebel Wilson being Rebel Wilson.  That girl could do no wrong.  Anyways, while I did find some of these, you know what I found more of?  Pictures of extremely thin girls talking about how fat they looked today.  Pictures of scars and bleeding wounds from where people had cut themselves because they felt so horrible about who they were.  Posts about how they felt so sick because they ate a meal that they spent the next few hours making themselves throw up.  Things like this just make me so sad, and it is even more sad that we have driven ourselves to this.  Is obesity so horrible that it is better to do this ———->

than to eat or gain weight?  I mean, I know this is cause by some sort of mental and/or psychological problem.  But I hate that this exists because of how negative being fat is in our society.  I hate that people would rather cut the word “fat” into their skin (as a constant and everlasting reminder to quit eating) than to be overweight.  And look at this girl.  She is not at all fat.  If anthing, I would say that she is overly skinny, just judging from what I can see.  This is what comes from those people out there who think that it is okay to stigmatize fat people in order to get them to lose weight.  Do you think that the person in that picture is more healthy than someone who is 100lbs overweight?  I can guarantee she is not.  Her body may look better from the outside, but if she is not eating or is throwing up on a regular basis, then she is certainly not anymore healthy than someone who is overweight.  And the thing is, she is not the only one.  There are hundreds of posts like this on Tumblr, as well as on other sites, including Pinterest.  It just seems to me that instead of just focusing on how horrible obesity is, we should focus on how it is viewed by society as a whole, and work on that image.  Take smoking, for example.  It is another highly stigmatized activity, very commonly compared to obesity.  The thing is, however you want to compare them, they are completely different.  I’ve never seen someone yell names out the window at a smoker walking down the road.  I’ve never heard “smoker” jokes like I’ve heard “fat” jokes.  I’ve never seen someone put stickers of  smokers on their truck like this —->

I mean, you don’t see smokers carving “oxygen” into their skin, do you?  No.  So, whether you want to admit it or not, they are different.  In the end, yes, maybe they both affect us the same way, ie: raising healthcare costs, etc.  But there is a certain point-blank and completely acceptable hatred when it comes to being obese, and we really need to change how we view this disease, or medical disorder, or whatever you want to call it.  At the end of the day, whether you weight 100 lbs or 1000, we are all people and we all deserve to be treated that way.  If you think that someone is fat due to them constantly stuffing their face all day, every day, why would you treat them any worse than you would treat a drug addict or a smoker?  Would you put a sticker on your car that says “Don’t blame me…I didn’t hand you the bag of meth”?  Or “Don’t blame me…I didn’t hand you a pack of cigarettes”?  If not, why would you put one that says “Don’t blame me…I didn’t feed your fat ass”?  Why is that viewed as ok?  Why is obeseity viewed with so much more hatred than those things?  Why is it so hard to see that regardless, a person is a person and deserves respect?  Enough is enough.

So, now I will step down off my soapbox and give you pictures of a fat cat, a funny card, and of course, Rebel Wilson.  Enjoy! 🙂

 

 

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #18

What up, muchachos?  Today, I have a wonderful new “Fat People Shouldn’t” for you guys, so here ya go!

Now, we all know that everyone should get exercise, right?  A little fresh air, some sunshine, it does wonders for a person!  And for kids, I mean, it’s even better!  It helps their little bones grow!  So, like this devoted mother, grab your kids, grab your bikes, and get your ass out there and get some exercise!  (and p.s.–don’t forget your kiddie gas masks!)

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“Fat People Shouldn’t” #17

Hey guys!  So, it’s been about a bajillion years since I did a new “Fat People Shouldn’t” post, (well, actually, it’s been 24 days), so I figured that everyone’s eyes have healed enough since last time to enjoy another.  Am I right?  OF COURSE I’M RIGHT!  So here we go!

 

Now, you know that everyone likes to flaunt what they’ve got, right?  I know I do!  I mean, you’ve seen me in skin-tight camo spandex, and we all know that shit was hot.  So you know, when spring rolls into summer, it’s hot and we are all sweating, we all wanna get our sexy on with a pretty little two piece, showing off our sexy bod to all our friends.  This guy is no different!  But you know, if you’re gonna get drunk and slip into something a little sexy, you better make sure you’ve got a friend to keep an eye on those “nip slips”.  I know Tara Reid, Janet Jackson, and more recently, Nicki Minaj, have all let their junk hang out, but let’s face it, if we all start doing it, it won’t be so special when a celeb’s boob falls out on the red carpet.  So with that said, tuck that titty in, buddy!  Nice star, by the way, but if it’s a pastie, you put in the wrong place, but I guess that’s what being drunk does for you.  Call Lil Kim, she might be able to help you out!

 

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“Adventures In Dieting: Ep. 3”

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Are you saggin’?

What up, peeps?  So, as some of you know, at the start of the new year, I went back on my diet.  And I’m doing it for real this time.  Been going to the gym, eating healthy, the works.  Let’s not call it a diet.  It’s my new way of life.  Anyways, I have some fears about losing a bunch of weight.  I have dreams of losing weight and looking something like Ryan Reynolds.  That would be nice wouldn’t it?  I mean, if I’m gonna do it, I might as well do it right, right?  So, for inspiration, I’ve been looking up pictures of what it looks like when people lose a lot of weight.  Just FYI–I’d like to lose around 200lbs…that’s about half of my body.  So, here’s what I’ve found:

What I look like now:

 

 

What I want to look like after I lose weight:

 

 

What I’m afraid I’ll look like after I lose weight:

 

 

What I’ll probably have to do if I look like that ^ after I lose weight:

 

 

Now, realistically, I don’t expect to ever look like Ryan Reynolds.  I mean, he trains in the gym for like, half of his life, and you know what Sweet Brown says…”Ain’t nobody got time for dat!”  Now, the picture of the guy with all the saggy skin is a little bit overkill for me.  That guy lost like, 500lbs, but still, saggy skin is a reality for me.  And I kinda feel like, which would I rather have?  Gross folds of saggy, baggy skin hanging from my arms, legs, stomach, and everywhere in between, or would I rather be a fatass forever?  I guess when it comes down to it, I would rather be healthy and saggy than to be a fatass who dies at 45, but really, I wish there were some other options.  But what about plastic surgery, you ask?  Yeah.  They do this thing called a corset trunkplasty, where they take you in across your belly and junk.  Estimated cost: $15,000.  End result:

Yeah…not much prettier than the saggy skin, is it?  This picture is a man who lost 300lbs, and this is 6 months after his surgery.  I’m just thinking, jeez…it kinda sucks either way.  Anyways, I guess becoming a bodybuilder is always an option.  I guess it’s not bad to be huge as long as your hugeness is caused my mounds of muscle and not folds of fat.  It might be nice to be able to lift a small plane with one hand, I guess.  I wouldn’t really have to worry about being mugged or anything anymore…So yeah, guess if all else fails, I’ll become a body builder!  Alright! Anyways, guess that’s it, even if I don’t have to worry about any of this for at least a year or more.  Leave it to me to always see the downside.  Whatevs.  See you guys tomorrow!

Categories: Dietupdate, Various | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Welcome To My Nightmare” #1

Hey guys!  So, today, I have something totally new and amazing for you.  Last night, I had a nightmare.  I woke up screaming, having witnessed a horror beyond comprehension.  Luckily, being the amazing artist that I am, I was able to recreate some of the more graphic scenes for you, so continue to scroll at your own risk, and don’t say I didn’t warn you!

WHAT IS GOING ON?!

First, I realized that I had on this awful shirt, some spandex/camo combination of death, so I tried to hide.  My first hiding spot didn’t work.

No one can see me!

So, then, I tried another.  It was working, until I realized that I had dropped some money.  So…

You totally can’t see me!

 

I’m just a bush…no one here…

I had to bend over and pick it up!  AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

You don’t mess with my money!

So then, after collecting my money, I started hugging up on this really cute tree…I don’t really know why…you know how dreams are…

I love trees!

And then…I BECAME A TREE!!!! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN FAT PEOPLE WEAR SKINTIGHT CAMO?!!! IT’S HORRIBLE!!!!! 😦 😦 😦

I’M A TREE!!!!!!

Okay, guys…so that was my nightmare.  Pretty scary huh?  So what lessons have we learned here today?  #1:  Nick has no shame.  #2:  You may want to stop reading this blog.  And finally, #3:  IF YOU ARE A FATASS, DON’T WEAR SKINTIGHT CAMO!!!!!!!

 

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